THE ART OF FIRST IMPRESSIONS
move on to another church. My only response was to ask them to give me six months of their time. If they still felt the same way, I would hug them and bless them as they moved on to another church home. They did decide to give me a chance, and they became two of the most dedicated, involved, and giving people the little church had.
Another woman started attending our church. During services, she would shout out comments during my sermons. She was not familiar with church, or what it meant to listen, reflect, and study at home. She was from New York City, got right to the point, and shared her thoughts with no inhibitions.
The woman of the husband-and-wife team came to me and said, “Pastor, you need to do something about this woman! She is driving me crazy!” Even though I couldn’t agree more with her, in my heart, I knew there was a lesson here. Not everyone that enters into our lives will come in ways we expect. From wisdom that could only have come from God, my response was to encourage her to take the New Yorker out to coffee or lunch and get to know her.
It turned out the New Yorker was the primary caregiver of a husband who was physically disabled and verbally abusive. These two women became good friends, and eventually, the interruptions in service subsided, and the New Yorker became a loyal volunteer and attendee.
Overcoming the Failed First Impression
If humility is evident in our lives, then a failed first meeting and poor impression can be overcome. If pride is there, the failed first meeting is tough to overcome.
I can say, with certainty, that I need to be reminded on occasion to give people the benefit of the doubt. One way I do this is to personally take time to meet with them in a public setting. At that meeting, I usually ask them questions which lead them to share their life and faith journey—where they grew up and how they came to live and work where they are currently. It is incredible how much you can learn about someone if you just ask questions and take the time to get to know them.
When you show a genuine interest in someone’s life, often it brings a reward—a good friendship. Hopefully, the interest in you is reciprocated, and God will be honored in the new relationship that has just formed. We will never know unless we decide to take it beyond the first impression.
Businesses are starting to understand the need to take someone out of a tradi- tional interview situation, moving their interview to a restaurant. The purpose is to see how they handle themselves in social situations, how they address and treat the wait staff, and also how focused they can be on the conversation. This is an